Inspired by a Saturday newspaper that has 50 things to do

1	Returnable bottles - save them up like money in the bank, then get cash to spend on sweets. There's a mention in Truman Capote's 'In Cold Blood' which casts it in a more desperate light.
2	The Guinea - the Tories might have lost Saving The Pound but didn't they abolish the Guinea a piece of coinage that was 21 shillings and was much used by furniture stores to sell pricey sofas on easy terms, and swash buckling pirates in pre-decimal days.
3	Home delivery on bikes - home shopping to your door only it didn't produce greenhouse gas and was administered on bits of paper i.e. a shopping list.
4	Gripe water with alcohol - in the days when patent medicine was a remedy and not paracetemol disguised by an expensive ad-campaign.
5	TV test card - nothing but a picture and lifeless music but it made people go out instead of wasting their day staring at numb dumb daytime telly.
6	Fish & chips in newspaper - can't have that anymore it might kill you.
7	Teleprinter at 20 to 5 bringing the football results. There is a modern version with faux sound but it'll never have the feel of the old mechanical machine that chundered away and hovered over your teams result.
8	Public drinking fountains. Still exist somewhere.
9	National rail network. Want to get somewhere right now or after 2030 hours don't rely on train journeys.
10	Valve radio / hi-fi - give it 5 to warm up and get that rich tone that circuit boards have never delivered.
11	Duffle coats - due for a fashionable return, but why were they called 'duffle'?
12	Collecting tinfoil for charity. Recycling when nobody knew the term but actually did the deed. Where did it all go?
13	Fractions - like 5/8 or 17/21 instead of all this point 333 business where thirds and sixths don't go with a base 10 system.
14	Lemon cheese & lemon curd. Two different recipes for a forgotten British food. Used for toast and tarts.`
15	Morning Star. It lives but t'is a shadow of it's controversial hammer & sickle no truck days. We remember the bazaars they had (like a jumble sale) only more refined and full of great home made jam. Stalinist version of the Women's Institute only this was Stretford.
16	Fray Bentos synonymous with corned beef but what about those big tinned pies with puffy pastry. Whatever happened to corned beef? Called 'corned' because salt came in big crystals called corns, and the brand was also a town in Argentina. Still available but do you still buy it?
17	Soda Siphons that made fizzy drinks by some devilish means.
18	Home Internationals in football. Every summer Scotland, England and the other two would play each other. Wales v. Northern Ireland would be a crushing 0-0 draw and only the Scots cared about beating England. Apart from the FA Cup Final there was no other football on telly. Can you believe that?
19	Gills and quarts. Next time some clown says they don't like metric ask them how many gallons in a bushel? The answer is eight, it's a dry measure by volume. Nowt wrong with imperial but you have to use 2 gills in a pint, 2 pints in a quart and a chain is 22 yards (cricket pitch) to get the full effect.
20	Vinyl. Still alive and very much kicking in some parts. Inconvenient, bulky, scratchy but creative.
21	Shipping Forecast on Radio 4 FM - miss that North Utsire (an island off Norway), Fisher, Tyne, Dogger rising more slowly mantra whilst stuck on the M6.
22	Garages that fit cars. How come nobody puts the car away. Protect it from the elements and fill it with anti-freeze. Possibly because garages got built too small for modern cars and now serve as junk rooms.
23	Soap Operas on Twice a Week. A genre that works by keeping you hanging on, but now overplayed with too many episodes and wafer thin story lines that re-appear in another soap at roughly the same time.